ow cool was Weston, Missouri featured in one of those Hallmark vacation movies? If you haven’t noticed, the Kansas City area is now Hollywood’s darling thanks to names like Jason Sudeikis and the second sexiest man in the world after Ivan Foley, Paul Rudd.
I know a lot of people laugh at those Hallmark movies, but we’ve got a lot of fodder if Hallmark is going to come back next year and turn this place into Tinseltown.
For example… “The signs of Christmas”. The mayor of a small town wants to spread the holiday cheer, so he hires his cousin to paint a bunch of Christmas signs all over town. The cousin is a recovering shopaholic and known to cause mischief on Black Friday. Indeed, the cousin buys all the painting in the city, causing the involvement of the city council. The mayor is charged with nepotism but must launch a passionate plea to the city council on the spirit of Christmas in order to escape a heavy fine and impeachment. The closing credits feature a song by Taylor Swift about forgiveness.
Here’s another one… “Holiday Nanny Manny.” Based in a bustling suburban town, Nancy leads a double life. By day, she is an uncompromising politician. She is the mayor of her city and reigns with an iron fist. The first act is Nancy shouting at people at town hall to do this or that to her. She really is the cranky Christmas! She is also the mother of two boys. Their nanny “Chester the Manny”, as the youngest child calls her, is kind and gentle and is treated badly by Nancy. But the kids love it. On Christmas Eve, Nancy is called to work very late and Chester makes the children sit down to ask them what they want for Christmas. The elder asks for a Patrick Mahomes jersey and a baseball glove. The younger one stops and innocently looks at Chester and says, “I want you and my mom to fall in love.” Chester laughed like he had a bowl full of jelly. But just as the wish is made, a windstorm shingles the lights. The film’s finale has a song by Taylor Swift that fades away as the two find the true love that melts Nancy’s heart. They then run for president and vice-president, all because of a Christmas wish.
If Hollywood hasn’t called yet, here’s one more… “Christmas Petitions”. Some rapscallion teens from the local high school get together and circulate a petition to “cancel” Santa Claus. The show is a piece of reflection on peer pressure and the power of positivity. The petition sets off a firestorm in the community where even national news hits town. People line up on both sides of the high school football field. One side with signs like “SLEEPY SANTA” and “LET’S GO FROSTY” and the other with signs that say “THERE IS A FATHER CHRISTMAS” and “FATHER CHRISTMAS STILL WATCHING” which admittedly sounds scary. When suddenly the little sister of one of the petitioners walks to the center of the soccer field and gives a heartfelt speech about what Christmas means to her, and what it could mean to everyone if you let in a little Santa Claus your heart. “Santa is all of us,” she said, fighting back tears. Both sides of the football stadium start clapping and rush over to hug the little girl. Again, a song by Taylor Swift plays in the background.
These movie ideas are free, all I ask is that you proudly introduce myself and the sexiest man in the world as background extras.
(Chris Kamler is the sexiest man on Twitter and you can find him there as @TheFakeNed)